


Boulevard of Broken Dreams

by cheshire_kitties



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-26
Updated: 2013-03-26
Packaged: 2017-12-06 14:19:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/736630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheshire_kitties/pseuds/cheshire_kitties
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry Styles. Awkward straight-as-a-ruler curly head. Druggie. Two friends: Zayn and Liam. He's not one to love, because loving someone can ruin your life.</p><p>Then, he meets Louis.</p><p>Louis Tomlinson. Stubborn rich kid. Kicked out of the house for being gay. Living with his best friend, Niall, and eventually being adopted. No one seems to see that he feels out of place. He doesn't feel right, like he doesn't belong. He had no one to tell his story to, no one who wanted to listen, and no one who wanted to help him.</p><p>Until he meets Harry.</p><p>Add together three homeless kids, two boys who don't belong, broken dreams, broken hearts, and intricate love triangles...you get a heap load of trouble, mischief and major disaster.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Catching

It's cold.

Really cold.

Not like I could do anything about it.

I pulled my furry black trenchcoat tighter around me and shivered as I plodded through the new snow. My breath came out in big hazy clouds and hung around my mouth. I brushed my brown curls out of my green eyes and checked my phone. I had a new text.

_Be under the bridge in five._

I smiled.

_Already there._

I slouched into the side of the concrete bridge, looking around me. The lights of Wolverhampton at night made the snow sparkle like those pretty crystals that are on display outside of the jewelry store. No one had cracked the new sheet, so it glittered, perfect and unbroken. I looked down at my gloves. They were the ratty hobo kind, with the tops cut off, so you could see my fingers. They were jet-black. I pulled up my low-lying denim jeans, and rolled the hem of my favorite mottled gray Ramones shirt. My gray combat boots were really dirty. I made a mental note to go to the Workshop to get them cleaned. The noise of the snow cracking made me glance up.

A tall, tan, raven-haired boy trudged towards me. Following him was another tan kid, with dark brown hair and puppy-brown eyes. The raven-haired one hugged me. "Hey, mate. You good?" he whispered in his thick Bradford accent into my ear. I nodded. "How about you, Zayn?" The raven-haired boy shrugged. "The normal." He gestured to the smaller boy. "This is Liam." The boy hesitantly waved, but something in my eyes made him stop. "He seems too innocent, Zayn. You sure La Roux will be happy with this?" Zayn chuckled. "Trust me, Hazzah. I've seen what this kid can do. He lost that innocence a long time ago." I shrugged. "Well, I guess we'll find out." I studied this Liam kid. He was wearing a black fleece, dark jeans, a dark blue top and black-and-red Supras. I shook my head, laughing to myself.

He must've been new...or maybe he'd been in this business before. I blinked. No. There is no way. We were the only drug agency in the UK. I turned to the wall and punched a four-digit number into a keypad. A sleek gray door slid open without a sound, and the three of us slipped inside. We walked into a small room with a big hickory wood table in the middle of it. On the right was an office and five chairs on the wall. The left, a crude black door. We all avoided that room. It stank of dried blood. It made me nauseous. I blinked.

_Get a grip, Hazzah! You've been here long enough! Why are you getting nauseous now?_

I shook my head. Zayn looked at me, his doe brown eyes full of concern. "Haz, you okay?" I nodded, not wanting to open my mouth for fear of losing what breakfast I had all over the table. A female voice with a faint French accent floated out of the door.

"Zayn, can you come in please? And bring your newest attribution in with you."

Zayn walked over, slightly shaking. I gave him a thumbs-up, and he smiled nervously. His eyes were huge. Liam didn't look any better. They both filed inside, and Zayn shut the door behind him. A couple minutes later, Zayn stumbled out, Liam following him. He looked relieved. I stood up to go when the voice came again, just colder. "Harry, I expect your catch tonight. I have given you enough time. Either get one, or don't come back." And with that, the door swung shut. I stood up, my hands shaking. Zayn pulled me into a big hug. "It's okay, Hazzah. I'll help you," he whispered, running his fingers through my curls. I nodded, biting my lip so I didn't cry. I had to keep this shell up.

I picked up my holster and pistol. It was an elegant pistol, completely black with a mounted target scope. Zayn used a wicked three-inch long steel knife with a fitted handle. Liam had a big machine gun strapped to his back. He must've been the sniper type. We headed to the Dark Bradford, the area where the smokers and the drug dealers and the loners were. Zayn took the lead, obviously picking up a scent. This kid must've been a bloodhound in another life, or something. Tonight, we had a full moon, with a couple clouds. You could see the stars, sparkling pinpricks up in the black fabric of the sky. They cast long, freaky, surreal shadows along the alley.

My hunter eyes perused the alley until I made contact with two boys. They definitely weren't homeless. They must not have been very bright, or not from around here.They obviously didn't know what to wear, either. The short one was definitely Irish. He wore a bright green sweatshirt, some baggy chinos, and nice blue and gray Supra Sky Tops. The other boy was dressed in an interesting way. He wore a cream shirt with black stripes, flaming red capris, black suspenders, and some classic red TOMS. He wore a denim jacket over that. The blond's hair was brushed up in a quiff like Zayn's and Liam's, and the TOMs kid's hair was feathery and looked like he'd just run his hands through it. They both turned and pointed at something behind us. The Irish's eyes were a sparkling sea-green. But the TOMs kid had the eyes of a killer; deep blue, like chips of ice.

_Perfect._

Liam was settling behind a trash dump, plugging in bullets. Zayn unsheathed his knife, watching and relishing how the moonlight glinted off the deadly blade. I slid out my pistol, and got it ready. I kneeled, and held up my hand. The two boys had no clue what was about to happen. I could tell Zayn just couldn't wait any longer. He darted out, grabbing the Irish boy in a headlock and securing his knife under his neck, then pulling him into a small walkway in between the brick buildings. "Damn it, Zayn," I growled while grabbing the other boy, who squeaked in shock. I gritted my teeth. Lately, the victims who squeaked really got to me. I guess it's because I knew what was about to happen to them. Zayn started to press his knife closer to the Irish one's pale neck, creating a thin red smile.

The TOMs kid squealed. "No! Please don't hurt him!" Zayn looked up, the high in his eyes being replaced with annoyance. "It's either this boy gets sliced up deli-style, or you come with us quietly." The TOMs kid whimpered. The Irish one nodded, eyes crossed from staring at the blade. We tied their hand up, and Liam joined us. He stood at the back, using his big gun to poke the blond forward. Zayn was in the middle of the Irish one and me. The TOMs kid was leading. We walked down the Secret Pass, which was an unused sewage pipe big enough to stand up and walk down.

We had a lot of these links that led to La Roux. Only being in our agency could you know where it was. We were about halfway there when the TOMs kid whispered "What are you going to do with us?" I whirled around, got in his face and snarled "You'll find out. Now shut up and keep walking." He shut up after that. I felt a bit sympathetic, but shook my head. I had to stop that! I was going soft. And in this line of work, you couldn't do that.

Unless you wanted to die.

We got back, and with a quick look around, I punched in the code and led the two captives inside. I was immediately called in with the TOMs kid. At first, I couldn't see her, but I heard clicking and typing. I coughed, and the clicking stopped. The chair spun around, and I came face-to-face with La Roux. She was in her early twenties, with flaming red hair, normally up in a quiff, and pale skin. She wore a black blazer and skirt with heels. But she scared me. She made even the best go weak at the knees. Her eyes were her weapon. They were poison green, like a snake's. She could make them feel like lasers, or be really soft. Right now, they were a bit annoyed, but they brightened as they saw the boy I brought in.

"Ah, Harry! Finally." She stood up and click-clacked over to the boy and grabbed his bicep in her pink-taloned hand. She squeezed it, then told him to flex. When he did, her soft pink lips twitched into a half-smile. As for me, my jaw hit the floor. I hadn't ever seen anyone more muscular than Zayn, who secretly trained at the local gym illegaly. This kid was ripped. La Roux nodded in consent, not even blinking an eye. "What's your name, love?" she asked. He looked down at his shoes. "L-Louis, ma'am," he mumbled. La Roux let out a small chuckle. "Call me La Roux." He nodded. She turned to me. "Harry, I shall put Louis with you and Zayn on transport duty." She winked. "You've earned it, love. Nice work." I almost jumped up and down right then and there. But I kept my composure, wrapped my arm around Louis and walked out.

Zayn was up in an instant, Liam not far behind him. "Well?" Zayn demanded. I grinned. "We're back, mate. We're back on transportation." Zayn blinked, then he launched forward and drew me into a big hug, laughing. "Finally! I waited for this for so long!" he said, a smile on his face. I sat down next to Louis, who was shaking with sobs. "Aww Louis, it's gonna be okay. It's gonna be okay." Louis shook his head. "N-no, it's not..." he whispered. Zayn roughly took Niall in to meet La Roux, which left us alone with Liam, who got up and went out, saying he needed to "finish some business".

I put my finger under Louis's chin and lifted his head so he made eye contact with me. "Louis, it's gonna be okay. Really, it is. Your life is gonna get infinitely better than before. Trust me," I told him in a serious, yet soft tone. Louis nodded. I reached forward to brush away his tears from his brilliant blue eyes. I wanted to see them without the veil of sadness or tears, when he was laughing. I bet they were sparkling. I suddenly pulled back, shaking my head. What was I thinking?

I'm not gay!...

...Am I?


	2. The First Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Zayn happens to fall in love with his captive, Niall.

**~Zayn POV~**

I met Harry under the bridge like always, dragging behind me my catch. He was my thrid catch this week. I felt warm and proud inside, knowing that La Roux might promote us back to the transportation cycle. My thoughts drifted back to Harry. He seemed a little preoccupied. I don't blame him. La Roux was not pleased that Harry hadn't caught anyone in two weeks. She was getting irritated. And when she gets irritated, bad shit happens. Really bad shit. I was the opposite. I don't know what was wrong with me. I was taking boys from left to right, and actually enjoying it. I felt like the humane part of me was slowly disintegrating. I had only been in this business six months. Harry had been here two years, and was still somehow completely sane. I don't know how he does it.

I shook my head, trying to make my mind blank. Harry could read me like a book just through my eyes. Well, you know what they say. The eyes are windows to the soul. I finally got to the bridge. I was so wet from walking through the snow. I saw Harry staring up at the stars. They reflected in his sparkling green eyes. He seemed to be lost in thought. I nudged him, and he looked up. He immediately broke into a grin, and hugged me in a brotherly way. It didn't exactly work, because I was taller, but I felt the love. I felt him stiffen in my arms, and I looked behind me. Harry was staring daggers at Liam. Liam had raised his hand and waved hesitantly, but the hate in Harry's eyes that turned them a darker green made his hand drop to his side. Harry made a face. "Zayn...he seems really innocent." I looked at him. "Trust me. He isn't." Harry shrugged. "I guess." As he turned to the keypad, I shook my head and looked down at the ground. If only you were there...

**~One Hour Earlier~**

I walked down an abandoned street in Wolverhampton, fingering my lit cigarette and waving it around, making smoky patterns in the air. I felt cold, like the kind that squeezes its way in somehow even though your all bundled up and sinks into your being. I hated it. I couldn't do anything about it, which was even worse. I pulled my trench coat tighter around me. I looked around, and made eye contact with a boy around my age with brown hair styled in a quiff and with these puppy dog eyes that just make you want to melt into a big puddle of feels. I hated when other people stared at me. It was like they could see my thoughts swirling around in my head.

I didn't take too well to that. I walked over, sliding my knife out in my hand. He averted his eyes as I stood in front of him. "Those are going to be the death of you," he mumbled. I blinked. "Huh?" I asked. He looked up and snatched the cigarette from my mouth. "These. They'll kill you." He threw it on the gravel and crushed it with the heel of his shoe. An overwhelming rage consumed my whole being, and my eyesight was tinged with red. I launched forward, pressing him up against the brick wall, letting my knife slide under his neck. I saw it wobble as he gulped. I snarled in his face "You never do that again. Unless you want a death sentence." He whimpered "But I was just trying to help..." I hissed. "I don't need your help! I don't need anyone's help! I made it on my own! I don't need anyone!" I let him go, and stalked off.

Not a minute later, I turned around and the little twat was following me. I sighed. "You know that if you follow me, you can't go back to what you were doing?" He looked at the ground, his eyes glistening. "It's not like I have anything to live for anymore..." he said, his voice trembling a bit. I blinked. "Fine. Come with me." He trailed behind me a couple of paces for the rest of the walk to the bridge. It irritated me, and I turned my knife over and over in my hands. Thank God the bridge appeared, or I might have stabbed him.

**~Present~**

I ran my fingers through my quiff, making it stand up more. I only just started styling my hair like that, and I liked it. I walked into La Roux's office with Liam, shaking in nevousness. La Roux just nodded and waved me away. She called out to Harry coldly, telling him to get a Catch by the end of the night. Harry's face went pale. I gathered him up in my arms, and he cried a bit. I stroked his curls, and then we headed out. Liam had changed into our Catching stuff; black trenchcoat, black jeans, black shirts, and black Supra Sky Tops. We headed out, me taking the lead.

I smelled the air, catching a whiff of AXE cologne. That was something. You never smelled that one the streets. I picked up my speed until I was running, racing towards the scent. It was growing stronger every second. I stopped when I rounded a corner, and saw two boys walking slowly down the street. The first had feathery brown hair, ice-blue eyes, and had on the strangest outfit ever; a striped shirt, khaki chinos that were rolled up a bit, and red TOMs.

The second was drop-dead gorgeous. His blue-green eyes; his green hoodie; the way his jeans sagged; his white Converse; his blond hair; and his Irish accent that sounded like an angel. I blinked. I needed to concentrate, but there, in the back of my brain, was the urge to not Catch them. Ever. Let them live their lives. I pushed it quickly away, and dropped into a crouch. Harry hadn't given the signal yet, but I wanted so bad to get to them, for one to Catch the blond and ruffle his hair and have his skin touch mine and-

Jesus, was I really thinking that?

I shook my head, but I couldn't keep in my craving anymore. I shot out and grabbed the blond, slipping my knife under his neck and putting him in a headlock. He instantly went limp, and went completely silent. Featherhead (his companion) was caught by Harry, and Harry pressed his pistol to the boy's temple. I pressed the knife closer and closer, but every muscle in my body was screaming for me to stop. I clenched my teeth, trying to bury that feeling of pity and guilt, but I stopped.

I looked down, and saw the thin red smile I had left on his pale neck. I felt so guilty, but I kept quiet. Featherhead squealed "No! Please don't hurt him!" I looked up, annoyed. "Either he dies, or you come quietly," I hissed. Leprechaun (the blond) had his eyes crossed, looking at the knife. Featherhead whimpered. Harry tied them up, and Liam came down. We walked in silence back to HQ. I was in front of Leprechaun. Harry was in front, and Featherhead was leading. Featherhead whimpered, and Harry snarled in his face. I stood there, a little shocked. Harry never did that.

Something's up.

We got to HQ, and Harry punched in a code. We walked in and Harry took Featherhead in to meet La Roux. I sat down closest to the door. Liam and Niall sat down on either side of me, and we were dead silent. I slipped out a cigarette and placed it behind my ear for later. Leprechaun eyed the cigarette with distaste. "Those will be the death of you, one day," he commented in his melodic Irish accent. I glare at him. "No, they won't. Though you might be if you don't shut up." Leprechaun glared at me for a couple seconds, then just sighed and looked the other way.

The awkward silence was broken by Harry literally tripping over himself as he banged open the door. His face was lit up like a Christmas tree. "What's up?" I asked. He smiled from ear to ear, bringing out his dimples. "We're back! Transportation!" he yelled, running into my arms. We jumped up and down like little schoolgirls for a couple seconds, then broke apart as La Roux called me in. I grabbed Leprechaun and we both walked in together. I don't know what was with this kid, but he seemed to make the atmosphere calm down a little. I've never felt so relaxed around La Roux in a while. It was strange. I learned his name was Niall. Interesting name. We both walked out to Liam playing on his phone, and Harry comforting Featherhead (Louis, apparently). I swear, those two are perfect together. Literally. But as Harry went to wipe away Louis's tears, he stiffened and pulled away, then got up and got his stuff.

I stopped and stared at Harry. Just because he wasn't gay, or bi like me doesn't mean he can't comfort Louis. Harry looked conflicted. I just left it alone. We all grabbed all our stuff. We probably weren't coming back, so I told Liam to take everything he'd brought. He didn't have much, so we headed out fast. We trekked all the way to north Doncaster in a single night, which was quite the accomplishment. We walked into a nice brand-new Marriot, and walked up to the desk. Louis and Niall stood at the front, gawking at the magnificence of it. I'd been through this routine so many times, I've gotten used to it. Harry and I talked to Kerilynn, the receptionist. She was quite good-looking, with short brown hair, pretty eyes, tan skin...she looked like Frankie from the Saturdays. I didn't have a crush or anything. She handed us our cards, and flashed us a cute white smile. "Room 317. Everything's there. Food, hair stuff," she winked at me as she said that, "and clothes. Also, your goods are up in that secret compartment under the tiles." We nodded and said thanks.

She smiled again as we dragged the other three away, up to the room. I swear, the second I walked in, I almost fell over. We hadn't had this place in a while. It was a two-story flat, with five bedrooms (one for each of us), a walk-in fridge (which Niall ran towards automatically), random 70" plasma flat-screen TVs, and lots of couches. The rooms each looked the same, with a queen bed in half the room, the other half the bathroom. The bathroom had a walk-in tub, a huge full-length mirror, and a big sink. I collapsed onto my bed, stripping down to only black mesh basketball shorts, and curling up under the covers. I was awoken later that night by a huge clap of thunder.

I almost burst out laughing at how scared I used to get of thunderstorms. It was almost hilarious. A timid knock on my door forced me out of bed and dragged me over to the door. I wrenched it open, and there stood Niall, the poor kid shaking like a leaf, in only black boxers. His eyes were filled with fear, and he cringed whenever he heard a thunderclap. "Z-Zayn...c-can I s-sleep with y-you?" he stuttered. I waved him in. "Sure, Niall." We cuddled up under the sheets, and eventually I just stared at the little leprechaun. His face looked like a five-year-old's.

It's weird how people seem to grow younger when they sleep. His hair flopped over his face and dug into his eyes. His breath came in his nose and out in a little puff of air. I laid my chin on his shoulder, smiling as it fit perfectly. I fell asleep to Niall muttering something about a hamburger and the pitter-patter of rain on the windowsill.


	3. What Goes Up Must Come Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Zayn loses something precious to him, and Liam uncovers his hidden feelings for one of his mates.

**Niall POV**

Last night was the best with Zayn.

He was so perfect. His chiseled body...his doe brown eyes...his black hair that's always up in a quiff with that sexy blond highlight...

Dammit. I'm in love. I've fallen hard for Zayn Malik.

But does he like me back? Only time will tell.

I do remember Harry saying Zayn-was it Zayn?- was bi, but I can't really remember. God, I hope he likes me back. It would help me. It would make me feel better about being gay.

I woke up the next day to his angelic face nuzzled into my shoulder. I didn't even notice, because it fit so perfectly. Jesus, help me not do anything stupid. His eyes were closed, and his chest moved up and down slowly as he breathed. I moved his arm from my waist slowly, and he moaned softly in his sleep. I stopped, and he smirked a bit. I slid off, and placed a warm, fluffy pillow in my spot. His eyes blinked open, and he smiled up at me. "Morning, Nialler," he mumbled in his morning voice. Ack, his morning voice...so sexy.

I smiled back. "Morning, sleeping beauty." he lightly punched me in the shoulder, then slid off the bed. He got up, and we walked downstairs after I put on some sweatpants. I grabbed a cereal box and emptied it into a bowl. I poured in some milk and lazily chewed it as Zayn grabbed the skillet and some pancake mix. He made almost ten pancakes.

I ate about seven of them. And I have no shame.

I shoveled them into my mouth and nodded in pleasure. "Mmm, these are really good!" I said, licking the syrup off my lips. He laughed. "I'm not a bad cook, but...Harry's a lot better." I looked at him in mock surprise. "If this gets any better," I gestured to my empty plate, "then I'll be in heaven. He smiled. "Thanks, Nialler." I blushed. He started singing Love Like Woe by The Ready Set. I started to sing along, and we harmonized perfectly.

That _has_ to be fate.

He twirled me really close, and he sang the chorus "She's gotta love like woe..." he trailed off, staring into my eyes. He started to lean in, but then stopped. His breath tickled my lips as he looked at the ground, going red in the face. "Uh..sorry..." he said, slowly pulling away, but I stopped him. "No, Zayn, don't be sorry," I murmured. His eyes came back up to mine, and went huge, like a deer in the headlights. I didn't wait for him to pull away any more. I covered the distance and crashed our lips together, making a shower of sparks, like a mechanic hitting a piece of hot metal.

It felt so good. My fingers getting tangled in his hair... Our lips moving in sync... His tongue exploring my mouth...

The need for air...

Oh God, I needed air. I needed to breathe so bad. But I didn't want to. I wanted to kiss like that forever. But we both pulled away, gasping for oxygen. We both smiled crookedly, lovestruck. Zayn pulled me close, burying his face in my hair. "I love you, Nialler," he whispered, which sent shivers down my back. "I love you too, Zayn," I whispered back. He pulled away, but laced his fingers in mine. "Just best mates around the others? I don't want them to mess us up," he said. I nodded. I didn't want Louis, aka Mr. Overprotective, all over Zayn. He pulled me in for another short kiss. "Damn, I'm happy I can do this now without questioning myself," he mumbled. I couldn't have said it better.

**> >Fast-Forward: Two Months Later>> **

**~Zayn POV~**

Nialler and I have successfully been together for two months, and no one has figured it out yet. I'm happy. He was so easy to love; his soft blond hair; his sparkling eyes; everything about him. He was so cute, like my own personal leprechaun. I was content knowing I could love someone who I couldn't get hurt, someone who I could spend my entire life with.

All we've done is mail out the drugs and stuff from the hotel. We don't go outside for anything. I love it. Niall and I sleep together. No, we haven't gotten intimate...yet. I mean, he told me he liked the sex-after-marriage type thing, and I don't blame him. I mean, I lost my V-Card when I was seventeen, and I wished I hadn't. I loved him. It seemed like we'd be together forever...

But then my life crumbled.

One day, I got a call from an anonymous number. I picked up. "Hello?" A raspy voice on the other end made me tremble. I knew that voice. "Zayn. Is that you?" "Y-Yes." "You know what I want. Bring the little red flash-drive to me before midnight tonight or your new pet is going to be hurt." _Beep._

I took the phone away from my hand in a daze. How did he still know my number? How did he know about Niall? How did he even know I was still alive? I screwed my eyes shut, remembering that night.

**~Flashback: Two Years Earlier~**

_I looked down the street, backed up against the wall. He was running towards me, crying."Zayn, Zayn! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it!" He went to grab my arm but I shoved him away. "Go away!" I yelled, touching my cheek gingerly where he had punched me. He reached out to caress my cheek, but I lurched away. "I said, leave me alone!" I yelled icily. I saw his face go from sad to angry. More like extreme fury. I ran, and he ran after me._

_I got to the bridge, and backed up against the little guard rail. He snarled, fury burning in his eyes, turning them almost black. "You really want that? I hurt you because you were weak! I never loved you! Ever! You were a fool to think I had feelings for you!" he yelled. I felt tears fall down my cheeks, and whispered "You didn't love me?" He shook his head angrily. "NO! I_ NEVER _LOVED YOU! GET OUT OF MY LIFE!" He pushed me, and I tumbled over the guard rail. I grabbed for a hold that wasn't there, and I felt myself drop as he reached out to me, but too late. I hit the water with a huge splash, and tried to swim. But I was drowning. I couldn't swim for my life. The blackness overcame my vision, until I closed my eyes and waited for death._

Beep. Beep.

_I shook my head. Wait. I wasn't dead. I could still feel my arms and fingers and legs. I was still breathing. I opened my eyes, and came face-to-face with a young nurse. Her nametag said her name was Perrie. "Oh, you're finally awake!" she whispered, smiling. I didn't smile back, I just looked around. "Wha...where am I?" I asked, surprised at how raspy my voice was. She smiled again. "You're at the hospital, sweetie. You fell off a bridge." I blinked. So it wasn't a dream. Perrie looked at the floor. "The boy who pushed you off, he's in a trial now. He's being tried and could be put in jail for life." I blinked again. I hope he was._

_I started to cry, tears falling down my cheeks and dripping onto the bed. Perrie came back over and wiped away the tears with her thumb. "Oh, it's okay. Everything's gonna be okay." I shook my head. "N-no, it's not. What if he...comes back?" She put her finger under my chin and lifted it so that my eyes locked into hers. "He's not going to come back. He's not. Be positive. Keep in there, Zayn. Don't give up." I nodded shakily, and she smiled at me again. "There we go. Now smile for me." I grinned a little, and she winked. "That's what I've been waiting for." She walked out and came back ten minutes later with a tray of food. I shoveled it into my mouth as she checked my heart monitor. She took off the wires and IV as I ate. "Okay, you're cleared. You can get up and change. There are clothes in the bathroom over there. Now, I have to go check on my other patient." She got up and left me to eat and get dressed._

_I put on a black cotton coat, scarf, dark cargo pants, and some skate shoes. I walked out with a hug and an exchange of numbers with Perrie, and then I got out of that hell hole. Eventually, I was Caught by Harry, and the rest is history._

**Present**

I didn't realize I was crying. But the teardrops shown on my phone, and the streaks from them rolling down the screen. I felt two strong hands wrap around my waist, and an Irish voice whisper "Are you okay?" I sniffled, nodding. Niall came around and knelt so he was looking up at me. "Zaynie, what's wrong?" he asked, wiping away my tears like Perrie had two years ago. I shook my head. "J-Just someone I-I hadn't h-heard from i-in a w-w-while..." I whispred. Niall looked at me. "Zayn, you're distraught. This wasn't just someone you hadn't heard from in a while. Who was it?" I started to sob uncontrollably, and Niall held me.

He rocked me back and forth, shushing me and stroking my hair. "It's okay, Zayn." I nodded. Niall got up and left, going downstairs for a snack. I looked around, to see if anyone was watching. I unclipped a key and clicked it into a door on my right. I went inside, and looked for the flash-drive. I couldn't believe I was doing this. That flash-drive had the entire agnecy's information on it. If that was found by the police or fell into the wrong hands, we could be shut down. We could have the government on our tail. But I couldn't let Niall get hurt. Not because of some stupid request. Family comes before my job. And last time I checked, Niall was my family. I found it, and turned it over in my hands. I didn't know what I was about to do, but it would keep Niall safe.

And if it meant sacrificing my job, then so be it.

Midnight came. We were all there, holding our weapons; Harry and his pistol; me and my long knife; Liam and his bow and arrow; Niall had a large Swiss Army Knife; and Louis had acquired a scimitar from La Roux about a month ago. At the stroke of twelve, I heard a click of a gun. "Zayn, come with me," a raspy voice sounded from inside the archway. Niall gave me one last hug before I walked inside. "I love you, Zaynie," he whispered as I walked away. I mouthed back _I love you too._

Then, I went into the belly of the beast.

I ducked inside, and there he was. "Jake, you know we don't have to do this..." I said, but petered off as he laughed. "Yeah, we do, Zayn. Yeah, we do." He looked at me scornfully. "I can't believe you even tried to set the police on my tail. Even you know that they couldn't catch me. Did you really think you'd be safe?" I started to shake. He holds up a pistol. "Well, now, I have decided that I'll ruin your life so we're even. Hand over the drive." I toss it over to him, and he catches it. "Now run along, Zaynie. Before I catch you again." I ran out, and I could hear him running after me. I grabbed Niall and yelled "Run!" Harry and Liam bolted, but froze as he came out and pointed a gun at them.

A shot rang out, and Niall dropped like a stone with a cry of pain. I slowly laid him out on the cobblestones, watching in despair as a huge red spot enveloped his abdomen and scarlet poured across the street. I started to cry. "No, no, no...Nialler, please..." Niall cracked open his eyes. "Zayn...please don't cry..." he whispered, rubbing away my tears. "Kiss me. One more time," he asked me. I gladly did, and after about five seconds, I pulled away. He smiled. "I love you, Zayn...don't forget...I..." Suddenly, he closed his eyes. His body went limp.

In that one motion, I broke.

I smashed into a million pieces. I picked up Niall's limp body and held it to my chest. "No...No!...No!..." I yelled. I threw my head back and screamed. "Why? What have I done to deserve this? What has he done?" I started to cry. The love of my life was gone. Forever. I was broken.

And I couldn't be fixed.


	4. Healing Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Liam and Zayn both confront feelings, and sparks fly.

**~Harry POV~**

Those last two months, I just knew something was up. I just knew it. Zayn and Niall were acting differently around each other; hugging for longer than normal; staring at each other; one time, I even found Niall cuddling with Zayn on the couch. Honestly, I didn't mind. I was just thankful Zayn finally had a love that wouldn't hurt him. But every time your life's going good, someone's always gotta screw it up. That's just the way it is. After about two months of the lovey-dovey stuff, Zayn got a call. He went into his room, and came out sobbing. I have never, in my life, ever seen Zayn shed one tear, let alone sob like that.

It scared me.

But Niall told us what was up. We went to meet this random guy that Zayn had been called by. At the stroke of twelve, we heard someone call out to Zayn. Zayn went pale, and hugged Niall. He walked inside and talked in hushed voices. Suddenly, Zayn streaked out and grabbed Niall, yelling "Run!" We started to bolt, but the click of a gun froze us in our tracks. The shot rang out, and the world seemed to slow down.

Niall falling to the ground, blood pouring from his middle... Zayn kneeling next to him, pleading for him to stay... Niall going limp, his eyes closing... Zayn screaming at the sky...

I looked around, and the world sped back up. Zayn was holding Niall's body to his chest and rocking back and forth. I looked over at Liam, who was in shock. Louis was in surprise, but it turned to rage. He ran after the boy who was getting away. I knew this wouldn't end up well. I darted after Louis, Liam close behind me. When we found him, it was down in an alley. He had the kid pinned up against the wall, his sword pressed against his throat. He was screaming the boy down. For a second, I was scared of what Louis would do.

This wasn't supposed to happen. None of this was supposed to happen.

"Louis!" I yell, but he couldn't hear me. "How could you? What had Zayn ever done to you? He doesn't deserve this! I don't deserve this! You...you murderer!" he yelled, his voice trembling with emotion. Louis stepped back, letting him fall to the ground on his knees. "P-p-please, I c-can explain..." the boy whispered. Suddenly, a sickening _thwock_  echoed down the alleyway. The boy looked down at the knife handle that was protruding from his chest. I watched him fall, saw the light leave his eyes, watched the blood trickle down the cobblestones. Louis backed away, and ran back up the road. Liam looked over at me, his bottom lip trembling. I pulled him into a hug, letting him cry into my chest.

Normally, I'd be crying. But I have to keep myself together. For Liam. And Zayn. And especially Louis.

We slowly walked back, and saw flashing lights. We started to run. I started to wonder what the hell happened when I saw it was only an ambulance. The paramedics had Niall strapped to a stretcher, checking him over. Zayn and Louis were off to the side, talking with a police officer. The officer was holding a slim red flash drive, and I literally froze. That was the drive to all the drugs. To the agency's records. That was the heart of the company. If they took that, we'd be killed, or put in jail, or even fired.

Left to the streets to kill us.

The officer pocketed it, and Louis talked with him in a hushed voice, while Zayn was staring blankly at Niall. I couldn't even walk over to Niall. Neither could Liam. We just stood off to the side. I put my arms around Zayn, and he leaned into my shirt, crying. He needed Niall. Badly. I knew he wouldn't be the same. These gashes made by Niall's death would be scars. After this, Louis walked towards the nice neighborhood of Wolverhampton. I saw a flicker of recognition pass over Liam's face, but he stayed silent.

Louis crunched up the gravel in front of a huge house. He knocked on the door, and a short young woman with long blond hair opened the door. Her eyes stretched wide as she saw Louis. "Oh my God. Louis," she whispered, and hugged him. Louis started to cry, and the woman patted his back. "Oh, Lou, it's gonna be okay," she said, her voice cracking. Louis stood back up again, and I saw the woman clearly. Her blue eyes were red and puffy from crying. They looked like Niall's eyes. She must've been Niall's mum.

Suddenly, a boy older than us, but around Louis's age came hurtling out the door and enveloped Louis, sobbing. Louis patted the boy's back. "Shhh, Greg...it'll be okay, Greg..." Louis whispered, and he walked inside with the boy clinging to him. We followed hesitantly inside, and Niall's mum looked at us quizzically. "Louis, who are these boys?" she asked. Louis introduced us as his friends. Niall's mum nodded, her eyes sparkling. "I'm so proud of you, Louis," she said, patting his back.

Louis nodded. He led us upstairs, where Liam and Louis curled up some couches in the living room (a living room upstairs? Yeah, this house was like a mansion). Zayn and I took a walk. We walked out onto the street, Zayn kicked a pebble, and sniffled. "Harry....I don't know what to do anymore. I need him. I need so badly." The emptiness in his voice hit me right where it hurts; the heart. I brought him into a hug. "Hush, Zayn," I whispered into his ear, brushing his hair away from his eyes. We sank to the ground outside of someone's house, and just sat there.

After a while, it was starting to get dark, so we headed back. We went straight upstairs, and Zayn found Niall's room. It had a huge poster of some football team on his door. His room was orange, white, and green; the Irish flag colours. Zayn gave a little cry and collapsed on his bed. I crawled in with him, and held him. He shook with sobs. I pulled away as his sobs faded to quiet, and I saw he was asleep. I crept out towards the room next to Niall's and fell asleep on the couch.

**~Liam POV~**

I couldn't believe Niall was gone. Just like that.

Zayn was broken. Literally. He could not stop crying. But neither could I.

We walked past Niall on our way back. I bit my lip to not cry, but when did that ever work? I felt the tears slide down my cheeks. Finally, reality socked me full in the face. He really was gone. And he wasn't coming back. Ever.

We walked off towards Zayn and Louis. Zayn scared me. He was staring blankly ahead, like he didn't know his meaning in life anymore. I hugged him, and he shook. He bit his lip, trying to not cry.

But it didn't work.

Louis walked off, up to this huge house. The three of us stayed back, since we hadn't had proper human contact in a while. Louis hugged a woman who looked like Niall's mum, and a blond boy older than us. We hesitantly walked inside, and were greeted by the woman, who introduced herself as Maura. The four of us headed upstairs and Louis and I crashed out on the couch. Zayn and Harry went out.

I woke up when they got back. I heard Zayn recklessly dart past our room and Harry running after him. I heard Zayn and Harry sob, then there was silence. I cried. "Niall, why did you leave us?" I wondered through my tears. I drifted off, that small word replaying over and over in my head.

_Why?_

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

Funeral arrangements. We didn't get Zayn involved. He couldn't handle it. Niall's mum, who's name I found out was Maura, helped out the most. I mean, it was her son. We prepared for the funeral, and waited. A week flew by, and the date loomed. Finally, it came. We all got up at eight to get ready. Zayn wore a black blazer, a red dress shirt, black tight pants, and black shoes. Harry wore a silver blazer, tight silver pants, black shoes, and a white shirt with a black bowtie. Louis wore the same as Harry, but with a thin black tie. I wore a gray vest with black buttons, a white shirt, gray tight pants and white converse.

We drove up in a big black Bentley and walked in. All eyes were on us. Zayn grabbed my hand as we filed in, and I swear I felt a shock. Like static electricity. Eventually, I shrugged it off, but Zayn wouldn't let go. Not even when we went up for our speech. Louis had insisted that we all go up together, since it would be easier for all of us. Harry and Louis, who were the least shell-shocked and emotional, spoke for all of us. After that, Zayn was shaking like a leaf. He started to worry me until we got out to the car, and he relaxed.

We drove out to the cemetery for the burial, and as we placed our roses on Niall's casket, the reality of the situation hit Zayn. He burst into tears. I placed his rose on for him, and lead him back over to the chairs. We got out of there quick, and I really didn't want to have a mental breakdown in front of everyone. After that, we went to the recreation center next to the church, which was a huge two story barn, and changed. Zayn wore a white t-shirt, a gray zip-up hoodie, a denim jacket, tight black jeans, a red snapback, and black Supras. They were Niall's, I could tell. He loved Supras. Louis wore a striped shirt, black suspenders, tight chinos, and bright red TOMs. Harry wore his pruple Hipsta Please t-shirt, tight black jeans, a Jack Wills hoodie, and dark blue converse. I wore a blue plaid shirt, tight chinos, and my same white converse.

I remember eating a lot, laughing, and joking around. It was loads of fun. But then, Zayn's hand and mine touched briefly during a conversation, and I felt a spark again. But a lot stronger. I blinked and looked up at Zayn, who looked a bit gobsmacked. But he broke into a grin and put his arm around me. That spark turned into a warm electric current. Suddenly, as he accidentaly leaned into my face, he just paled.

His eyes went huge with tears, and he bolted out the door. I was just left sitting there staring after him like a dumb fool. I looked over at Louis and Harry, who were looking at me. "Well? Don't leave him, go after him, Li," said Louis. Harry nodded. "Liam, he's in love with you." I shook my head, but ran after him nonetheless.

As I ran, the truth got clearer and clearer. I knew I couldn't run from it. Harry was right. Zayn Malik was head-over-heels in love with me.


	5. Healing Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Zayn sets Niall free.

**~Zayn POV~**

I ran and ran and ran until I felt like my lungs were gonna give out. I had no idea where I was in the dark, but as I looked up, the moonlight shone on a gravestone.

_**Niall James Horan** _

_**Birth: September 13th, 1993** _

_**Death: April 24th, 2013 (age 19)** _

_**You will forever be in our hearts, Nialler. xoxo** _

I gaped. How the hell did I have to end up here? I gripped the frozen grass, hearing it crunch. I tried not to think, but I did. I had fallen for Liam. Like, head-over-heels, dying-to-be-with-you fallen. But...I know Niall isn't here anymore, but...I still love him. Even if he's dead. I started to cry. Okay, that was an understatement. It was an emotional breakdown. I curled up, still clutching the grass in my hands, feeling the tears stream down my face.

Dammit. Why was life so hard?

I started talking to the gravestone. I don't know why, but I poured out everything I had. After, about five minutes later, I heard crunching on the path. I bolted upright, and saw Liam. He looked sad. I didn't want him to be sad. I was already so low I didn't know how I was going to get back up. I didn't want him to be sad too. He laid down next to me silently and held me. I breathed in his sweet cologne, and the scent made me drift off to sleep.

I woke up in a completely white place. There was nothing else, just whiteness. I thought I was dead. I put my head in my hands, having an extreme panic attack. I felt my heartbeat escalate so fast, I thought I really should've died. "No! I can't leave now! Liam needs me!" I yelled. Suddenly, I heard a laugh. A very familiar laugh. I whipped around and saw the one person I thought to be dead walking towards me.

_Niall._

"Nialler," I breathed, and ran to him, enveloping him in my arms and planting a kiss on his lips. He smiled into it, and as I pulled away, I saw the notorius glint of mischief in his eyes. But it was gone in an instant, to be replaced by seriousness. He had me sit down on the "floor", I guess, and he took a deep breath. "Zayn," he began.

"I know you still love me, and I love you too. But...I'm not there for you anymore. You can't love a dead person, Zayn. You have to move on. Zayn, I've seen the way Liam looks at you. You light up his whole damn life when you smile or make a joke or make him laugh. Make Liam happy, Zayn. Don't pass him up. He really does love you."

I looked at Niall in shock when he was finished. "So you're telling me to break our promise? Of forever and always?" I said, my voice trembling. Niall nodded. "Zayn, I wasn't around for forever. My days were numbered, and I knew that. But so are Liam's. You have to move on, Zayn. Please? For me?" he asked quietly, and I finally plucked up the courage. I had to move on from Niall, and love Liam.

Because I knew I loved Liam, with everything I had. I stood up and hugged him. "I'll never forget you, Niall," I whispered into his hair. He nodded. "I'll never forget you. Remember, I'm always in here," he said, placing his hand on my heart. He stepped away, smiling. "Bye, Zayn," he said, waving and smiling. I smiled back, and my vision faded to black.

**~~~~~~~**

I woke up to Liam yelling in my ear. "Zayn! Zayn! Don't do this! Don't leave me!" he shouted, his voice full of desperation. I could tell he started crying at the end, because I heard his voice shake. I blinked open my eyes, and turned over to face Liam. He had his head in his hands, crying. I sat up and nudged him. He looked up, and an expression that was beyond happy spread across his face. "Oh my God, Zayn! Never do that again! Please, don't ever do that again..." he said, I blinked.

"Wait...what happened?"

Liam looked at the ground. "Well, I fell asleep and when I woke up your heartbeat was gone, and I couldn't find your pulse and I was freaking out and--you were dead!" he finished. I shook my head.  _I was dead?_  I gathered him in my arms, and rocked him. I looked down at him, and I heard a whisper in my ear.  _Say it. Tell him._

I took a deep breath. "Liam...what would you do if I told you I loved you?" I asked. He looked up at me in confusion. "I'd say I loved you back with everything I have. Why?" I smiled. "Because it's true." I didn't even wait for his expression. I leaned down and crashed my lips to his. After the initial shock, Liam kissed back, and our lips moved as one.

I propped myself on top of him, my forearms on either side of his body. He plunged his tongue into my mouth, not even waiting for me. His tongue went over everything lightly, like an ice-skater; the roof of my mouth, my teeth...all of it. The need for air became too great, and we broke apart, gasping. Our foreheads still touched. Liam smiled, his eyes sparkling. "So you love me? Even after..." I placed my finger on his lips, silencing him.

"If I didn't love you, Liam, why would I kiss you?" I asked quietly. His smile grew wider. He pecked my lips again, and stood up. I got up with him, brushing a curl away from his face. "I love you, Li," I said. He nodded. "I love you too, Zaynie," he said, leaning his head on my shoulder and putting his hand in mine. As we started to walk back, a sudden flurry of flower petals from the cherry blossom blew around us, making it seem almost surreal, like something pulled out of a movie. I heard Niall whisper in my ear.

_Thank you._

As we walked back to the rec center, I looked down at Liam's puppy eyes. And I felt the most overwhelming sense of love for him. In that magical moment, I let everything go. I set Niall free from my caged heart.


	6. Flashback

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Louis remembers when he was kicked out for being gay.

**Louis POV**

When Zayn ran out, I knew. I knew he was in love with Liam. It was so obvious. I looked over at Harry after Liam had chased after Zayn. Man, he was beautiful. Fluffy brown curls, sparkling emerald eyes, cute dimples- Crap, Louis! Stop it! I shook my head, blinking. I can't like Harry. He's obviously straight. But so was Liam, once upon a time. I shivered. What if Harry reacted the same way my parents had?

**~FLASHBACK~**

_I gulped. This was it. The day I told my parents I was gay. I was so nervous, my fourteen-year-old self was sweating like mad. I walked over to my mum's room, and knocked lightly. "Come in," a tired voice said._

_I walked in, and saw my mum sitting on the bed, reading a book. She looked up and patted a spot next to her. "What's wrong, Louis?" I promptly burst into tears, and my mother put her arm around me._

_Through my tears, I explained that I was gay._

_After that, she just looked at me. "Thank you for telling me, Lou," she said softly. "I'll love you no matter what, just remember that." I nodded and we snuggled for a bit. Then, she went downstairs to make dinner._

_I gulped again. This time I would have to face my father._

_I went down for dinner and ate in silence. My father was guzzling his third beer and my mom was quiet. Lottie and Fizz were at a friend's house, so they wouldn't witness the horror that was about to happen._

_I brought up the subject of gays and my father laughed. He said some pretty strong-worded stuff against them. At that point, something inside me snapped. I jumped up and slammed my hands on the table. "You've never talked to one! You don't know what they've been through!" I yelled. My dad drunkenly stumbled up and jabbed a finger at me. "Why do you care so much all of a sudden?" he slurred back with equal volume._

_I looked down at my shoes. "B-because I...I'm gay."_

_The first thing I felt was his fist connecting with my jaw. I fell to the floor, and curled up. He towered over me, anger flushing his face clean of any redness. "Get. Out. Of. My. House. Get out! You_ weakling!" _he yelled, and I ran upstairs. I heard my mom intercept him, but I didn't pay attention. I packed up what I thought I needed and ran back downstairs. What greeted me made me lose all feeling and drop to the floor on my knees._

_My mother. In a pool of blood. Shakily drawing out a steak knife from her middle. I crawled over to her, my hand over my mouth. "He...he stabbed you..." I whispered. She took my hand and held it to her cheek. "Louis, I have to go. My little Tommo...please, don't hate yourself. Be brave. Be brave for me, Louis," she whispered. I nodded, feeling tears trace down my cheeks._

_She smiled crookedly, and then her eyes closed. Her hand fell to the floor through my nerveless fingers. She was gone. My mother was gone. I ran out crying into the night. I had no idea where I was going to go. I was now homeless. My feet kept going, going past my high school, past my friends houses, until finally they stopped. I looked up, and came face-to-face with a huge black iron gate. My friend Niall's house._

_I opened it, and it squeaked. I crunched up the gravel drive, and got to the oak front door. I took the gold knocker and slammed it twice. Two seconds later, Niall poked his head out. He looked incredibly angry. "If that little cunt_ ever _comes back, I'll...........Louis?" he asked, turning around before he exploded._

_I looked at the ground, feeling the tears start to come again. He put his arm around my shoulder and led me inside. There, I was greeted by a short blond woman with eyes similar to the boy's. Mrs. Horan. She came over and gave me a big hug. "Oh, Lou," she whispered. "What happened? I just saw the police driving down your street with their sirens on."_

_I sniffled, rubbing my finger under my nose. "M-my mum w-was mur-murdered...b-by my d-dad..." I choked out, then I broke down. Mrs. Horan was in shock, I could tell. My mum and her were very close. She walked me upstairs and tucked me into the bed in the guest room. "You can stay as long as you'd like, Lou," she said, smiling and walking away, shutting the door._

_I immediately texted Fizz and Lottie, letting them know to not go back to the house. I turned off my phone and sat it on the counter. Then, I cried myself to sleep._

_I was alone._


	7. Falling For You, Hard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Louis tells Harry a story, and Louis and Harry confront their feelings for each other.

**~Louis POV~**

I shook myself out of my past. I had no idea I was even crying until I saw two small plops into the Coke I was holding. The cup started to shake, and I put it down, afraid that Harry would notice my nerves. He did.

"Hey, Lou? You okay?" he asked, rubbing a hand on my back.

He didn't even realize how much that made me redden. Just his touch made me blush. I shook my head. Unable to contain those six years of emotional buildup, I hurled myself into Harry's surprised outstretched arms and sobbed. He held me like that for a while. "Louis, it's gonna be okay...we're going back to work tomorrow...that always brightens things up, right?" he asked.

I shook my head.

"Work will never help me," I mumbled into his chest. I felt a finger under my chin, lifting it away from his stained shirt and facing his eyes. Sparkling green met ice blue, and I looked like a starstruck goldfish. I looked away, but his finger was still under my chin. "Louis, look at me," he pleaded, and I did. "Please, can you tell me what's wrong?" he asked.

He sounded like a three-year-old. I couldn't resist.

"Well, you're in for a long story, mate," I said. He shrugged. "I just want to know what's wrong." I sighed, and began. I told him everything, about my dad, about my mom, about Niall, about the Horans and how they eventually adopted me... Then, I stopped. He looked at me, confused. "I'm missing something..." he said. I shook my head hurriedly. "No, that's the story," I said. He blinked. "You're a terrible liar. I guess I'm trying to ask, why did all that happen to you?" I took a deep breath. "Um...well..." I started.

"I-I'm...g-gay."

I didn't want to see the look on his face after that. I got up and ran out of the room, and tears began to trickle down my cheeks.  _He'll never think of me the same again._ I ran and ran until I was in the city. I bumped against a brick wall down an alley, and slid down until my bum hit the floor. I pulled my knees up to my chest, and buried my face, crying over the friend and crush I just lost. I heard a snap, and I immediately bolted up. It was Harry.

He'd followed me all this time.

He walked up and enveloped me in a hug. I pushed him away, ignoring the hurt in his eyes. "Y-You hate m-me now...r-right?" I whimpered, wiping away a stray tear like a toddler. He walked up, and shook his head. "Louis, I...I'm not..." he tried to say, but I cut him off. "No, Harry. Just...go home."

"Leave me alone. I don't need the shit that you'd say about me right now," I said, slowly walking away. I felt his arm catch mine, and whirl me around until we were nose-to-nose. He didn't even wait, just pulled the front of my shirt towards him and crashing our lips together. I was so shocked, my eyes were as big as dinner plates. But I leaned into the kiss.

I got that tingly feeling you get in the pit of your stomach that just expands to fill your entire body with warmth. He took my face in his hands, and I ruffled my fingers through his hair. God, it was so much to hold on to. I loved it. But we had to break it, or we would've suffocated. Harry had his hands on my cheeks, my fingers tangled in his curls. We gasped for breath, foreheads pressed together. "That...was amazing," I breathed. He smiled. "I've been waiting to do that for ages."

We shared one last small kiss, and then started to walk back, hand-in-hand. I looked up at Harry. "Hazz...will you be my boyfriend?" I asked. He chuckled. "Lou Bear, if I didn't want to be your boyfriend, I wouldn't have chased you over half of London just to kiss you." I smiled and rested my chin on his shoulder. He was so sweet. And in that moment, everything was perfect. No problems. Well, this was the calm before the storm.

And it was going to be a bad one.


	8. Coming Out Isn't Easy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the boys come out to La Roux, and bad things happen.

**~Zayn POV~**

Today was the day we were supposed to go back to work.

Well, we were  _supposed_  to.

We got back to HQ since La Roux wanted us there, and we saw her standing in the front room. She. Looked. Pissed. "What the hell? WHAT THE HELL?" she yelled. We cringed. "ONE OF OUR MEMBERS IS DEAD! OUR SECRET IS OUT! AND THEN, YOU COME CRAWLING BACK, EXPECTING ME TO WELCOME YOU!" "WELL, IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!" She whipped around and pulled out a gun. "I should shoot you all here and now. I don't like fags working for my company," she snarled. Harry winced. "What's gonna happen to us?" he asked. La Roux cocked her gun at him. "I should shoot all of you." She then looked at me. "Especially you. You gave out our secret for...love," she said. She spat on the floor when she said love. We heard sirens, but we weren't paying attention.

La Roux pulled the trigger, and I dropped, feeling the bullet pierce the soft skin on my shoulder. Liam was instantly by my side, and La Roux had walked off, yelling at Harry to never come back. Liam held my hand. "Zaynie...please don't leave me..." he whimpered, his eyes glassy. I shook my head. "LiLi, I'm fine..." I said, but trailed off and coughed. Blood trickled out of my mouth and down my chin. I could hear sirens, closer than before. Flashing lights.  _Why are there flashing lights?_  

I heard muffled cries, yelling, gun shots...but they all became white noise as Liam started singing to me. It was the song we listened to at the hotel.

"If we could only have this life for one more day. If we could only turn back time...you know I'll be, your life, your voice your reason to be. My love, my heart, is breathing for this, moment in time, I'll find the words to say, before you leave me today..."

He trailed off at the end, his voice cracking. My eyes slowly closed, but Liam kept nudging me. "Zayn, you can't go to sleep. Please, don't close your eyes..." he whispered. I shook him off. "But...I'm tired, LiLi..." I whined, my eyes heavy. He shook his head. "But if you go to sleep now, you might not wake up," he said, shaking. I blinked as arms wrapped around his middle and he was dragged off of me.

"No! No! Lemme go! I have to be with him!" he screamed.

I saw a head of brown curls behind Liam, so it must've been Harry. Some lady was kneeling next to me, checking me over and investigating my wound. "You're going to be okay, Zayn," she said. I blinked. That voice sounded extremely familiar... Suddenly, she looked up. It was the eyes that got me. Pretty blue eyes, soft blond hair... Perrie. It was  _Perrie._ I blinked. She smiled. "I told you that you'd be fine, Zayn," she said, then backed away. A doctor picked me up, one hand under my knees, the other cradling my neck. I was placed on a stetcher, and it was so fluffy and comfortable. They loaded me in a van with flashing red lights, and I drifted off to sleep.

**~Liam POV~**

I didn't think coming out would be this hard. La Roux yelled at us, and then shot Zayn on the spot. She shot him in cold blood. I'm still replaying that moment in my head... The gun shot ringing out... Zayn falling to the floor... Holding his hand as he talked to me... I sat in the red plastic hospital chair, sitting outside Zayn's room with Louis. I think Harry left to get something. I waited for him to wake up. I was lost in the past as a sweet nurse named Perrie walked out. "Okay, Liam. He's awake."

I was up and walking through the door as soon as she said the word  _awake._  I crept towards the bed, seeing him staring out the window. Bandages covered his shoulder. He heard me, and looked over. "LiLi," he breathed, and winced, as if it was hard for him to speak. I came over and gave him a quick kiss. "Well, what are we gonna do now?" I asked. I felt that pang in the back of my eyes when I'm about to cry, and I rubbed my eyes.

He looked at me, and said "Don't worry, LiLi. We'll get through this. You, me, Lou and Hazz...we'll survive." I nodded, and he took his thumb and wiped away a stray tear. "It's gonna be okay, LiLi. It will, he said firmly. A knock on the door made me jerk. A police officer and another guy walked in. The second guy looked like a detective. Rolled up office shirt, chinos, black business shoes, thick black tie...

He didn't look very happy.

"Mr. Payne? Can we talk for a couple minutes?" he asked, waving me outside. I walked after him, trembling. We sat down in a conference room, on one of those long mahogany tables and high-backed swivel chairs. I gulped. "So...what do you want to know?" He looked at me seriously. "Liam...what the hell happened? How did Mr. Horan die? And what is this?" he asked, holding up... The flash drive.

I blinked. "U-Um...I actually d-don't know w-what you're t-talking a-about..." I stuttered. God, I'm a terrible liar... He looked at me suspiciously. "Oh, really? I'm sure you can tell me how Mr. Horan was killed," he said. I bit my lip, looking at the ground. "He was murdered. By Zayn's ex-boyfriend." The inspector nodded. "Hmm. Well, who did you work for?" I shook my head. "I'm not allowed to say. It's against the rules. I could be shot." He blinked. "You won't. No one will know. That redhead girl is behind bars for dealing drugs behind the government's back. Liam, you can tell me," he said quietly. I bit my lip again, feeling the sharp tang of blood.

"Okay, so...we, as in Zayn, Harry, Louis and I worked for a drug company. We didn't want to. We were threatened. That we would be killed. We tried to pull out, but the money was just too good. But when Zayn gave us away by giving his ex that flash drive, we were toast. Then Niall died, and Zayn was just broken. This wasn't working. Nothing was working. We wanted to quit, so we headed back to HQ under the bridge. But La Roux saw us together-Zayn and I, and Harry and Louis-and she shot Zayn. She told us we were trashy homosexual fags, and that we didn't deserve to work for her anymore. After that, the ambulance rushed Zayn here, and...yeah."

I wiped the wet tracks on my cheeks. The guy placed his hand on my shoulder, and he reminded me of my dad. At least, he looked like a father figure.  "It'll be okay, Liam. We'll help you guys out, if you want..." I nodded. "Yeah, I have a feeling we're gonna need it." I got up and walked out, and the man walked out behind me. I went back into Zayn's room, and sat with Louis while the inspector talked to the officer. I sat down next to him. He'd fallen asleep, his hair falling over his eyes, his lips slightly parted. I traced his jawline, then traced his arm veins, until I got to his hand. I remember staring at him forever. Wondering how people can be so old when they're awake, but so young when they sleep.

**~Harry POV~**

Louis was mine. Finally, all mine. I couldn't get over that kiss. How sweet it felt. How his lips tasted of salty tears and sugary goodness and Coke and... Damn, it was perfection. But it all came crashing down around me, like a glass wall. When we got back, La Roux was insane. She yelled at us and shot Zayn. I couldn't do anything. Time seemed to slow down...

Zayn hitting the floor... La Roux backing away and walking off like nothing happened... Flashing lights of the ambulance and the police... It was all too much. And La Roux said never to come back. Ever. Which means I lost my job. The only thing I ever lived for. Gone in a second. Poof.

Louis sat with me on one side of Zayn, while Liam sat across from us. Liam was holding Zayn's hand and crying. We spent the entire ride watching Liam cry over and over. When we got to the hospital room, the nurses loaded Zayn onto a gurney and rushed him to the ER. Liam sat outside his room and then went inside. I decided to roam the hospital, and eventually ended up going out to the 7/11 and buying a Coke. When I came back, Liam was sitting in Zayn's room with Louis. They were sitting and whispering.

I walked over, and Louis stood up and hugged me. "Hey, Hazzah," he whispered, placing a sweet kiss on my lips. "Hey, Lou," I said, and sat in the small plastic chair. Louis plopped himself down on my lap. Liam blinked. "This guy came and talked to me. He told me that he was gonna help us find jobs and stuff." I nodded. "What about...her?" I asked. Liam shrugged. "As far as he knows, she's in jail. But she could get out easily unless she's in solitary confinement..." Louis shuddered. "I just hope she doesn't come after us again."

A doctor came in, checking Zayn's status. Then, he turned to us. "I think he's alright. He'll be able to go home tomorrow. The man who came in earlier, Mr. Paul, has given you a police escort back to the Horans." Louis shook his head. "No. I have a flat we can go to." The doctor blinked. "Okay. Well, good luck to you boys. You've been through a lot." We all nodded, and the doctor walked back out. I looked at Louis. "Er...who's flat is it?" I asked hesitantly. Louis smiled. "It's mine. Niall and I used to share it." I nodded and wrapped my hands around Louis's waist. He laid his head on mine in response. Now, I actually feel safe.

We're actually going to make it.


	9. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Zayn and Liam go over to Harry and Louis's flat, have dinner, and their kids play together.

**2 Years Later;** **Harry POV~**

I walk up to the flat, grinning. I just got back from work, and I can tell Louis has been baking. The sweet scent of cookies waft out of the open window and drift down to me. Mmm...cookies. I walk over to the elevator and press the button for the fourth floor. I get off and walk to the neon green door, which stands out from all the other plain cream doors. I unlock the door, place my bags down, and hang up my coat. Louis comes flying down the hall. "Hazzah!" he yells, tackling me.

"Hi, babe," I say, kissing the top of his head. "Dad! Daddy!" I hear, and see a ten-year-old boy running towards me. It's our adopted son, George. "Hi, Georgey," I whisper, scooping him up and kissing his forehead. "How was work, Daddy?" he asks, smiling. I shrug. "Long, as usual. How was school?" I ask, placing him back on the ground. He beams. "I made a new friend. It's a new boy named Jaymi. He's funny." I nod. George rushes off, yelling about his homework. He's a lot like Louis.

I look over at my husband of two years. "Are Liam and Zayn planning on coming over?" I ask. Louis smiles. "They were planning on tonight for dinner. They told me they adopted a son, and that they're bringing him over with them." I nod. "They are perfect for each other." Liam and Zayn got married about half a year after us. Louis smiles and pulls me into the kitchen. Our cat, Dusty, pads out and wraps herself around my leg, purring. I pick her up and cuddle her, and she pushes her head under my cheek, still purring deeply in here throat. Louis hands me a sugar cookie covered in neon yellow icing.

"Here. I just baked them for you," he says. I take a bite, and chew slowly, savoring the sugar. "Wow, Louis, That's really good," I say, swallowing and licking my lips. Louis smiles. "Why, thank you, kind sir!" he says, bowing. I giggle. "Daddy! I need help on my math homework!" George yells. I look at Louis. "You're better at maths," he says, pushing me towards the stairs. "I'll make some dinner for Liam and Zayn." I set down the cat and walk upstairs to see George with his small hands on the side of his head. "This math hurts my brain," he whines.

I laugh. "Aww, it's alright, Georgey. I'll help you," I say, pulling up a chair. It was fractions. I love fractions, so we breezed through the worksheet. After we were done, George gives me a smal hug. "Thanks, Daddy. That homework could've gotten me stuck up here forever!" he says. I laugh again. "Just like Louis, you are," I say, pinching his nose. He folds his arms. 'Thank you, Master Yoda," he says sarcastically, and packs up his stuff. I swear, he's like a fifteen-year old stuck in a ten-year old body.

I shake my head, and walk downstairs. I look over at the clock. 5:30 PM. As if by magic, I hear a knock. I open the door, and see Zayn and Liam. In front of them is a small ten-year old boy. He looks nice, but incredibly shy. George runs down the stairs, and stops dead. "Jaymi?" he shouts, and catapults himself at him. "You didn't tell me that your parents were Uncle Zayn and Uncle Liam!" he yells excitedly. Jaymi shrugs. "I guess I didn't know your parents were Uncle Louis and Uncle Harry," he says, poking George. They both run off. I hug Zayn, then Liam. "Hey, guys. Hows life been treating you?" I ask.

Liam smiles. "Well, Zayn got a job as an artist, and I have a job at the museum in London." I nod. "Come on in! Louis's cooking up dinner." We stand and chat in the front room, and Louis comes out with dinner. George and Jaymi speed downstairs, and slide into their seats next to each other. We have small talk over dinner, and Zayn and Liam tell us they're thinking of buying a flat here. Louis smiles. "It's quite nice here. You'll love it." I nod. "I see George and Jaymi really like each other," I whisper. George is blushing as Jaymi comments on his ability to do math so well.

"My math homework was so hard! And Daddy wasn't exactly helping me!" he says, glaring at Liam. Liam holds his hands up in defense. "Hey, I was never good at maths!" he says. Zayn laughs and hugs him. "Don't worry, LiLi. I still love you," he says. Liam places a kiss on his lips, and George and Jaymi cover their faces. "Eww, gross! Save it for tonight, Daddy!" Jaymi yells. George nods. "Ew!" he squeals, and they both run off. Louis calls them back. "What do you say before leaving the table, Georgey?" Louis asks. George furrows his brow, thinking.

Then, he pipes up "May Jaymi and I be excused from the table?" Louis nods, and the two both race off upstairs. I look at Zayn and Liam. "Goodness, he's a handful, isn't he?" I ask. Liam nods. "But he can be incredibly sweet," Zayn says. We talk about school, until the two boys come back downstairs. Jaymi yawns. "I'm so tired, can we go?" he asks. George nods. "I'll see you tomorrow, Jaymi!" he yells, and runs back upstairs to his room. Zayn scoops up Jaymi and stands up with Liam. "I think it's time for us to go. It was lovely seeing you guys." We exchanged hugs, and the two men walk out, a sleeping Jaymi on Zayn's shoulder.

I walk upstairs, and see George, asleep on his side. His mouth is slightly open, a puff of air leaving his mouth. I kiss him lightly on his forehead, and Louis does the same. We go into our room, and change. I put on checkered pants and a white tee. Louis throws on blue fuzzy plaid pants and a Jack Wills blue t-shirt. We snuggle together on the bed, and Louis says "Hazzah, I'm so glad I met you." I kiss his head, and say. "So am I, Louis. So am I." We curl up together, and I fall asleep on Louis's chest. Yes, I am glad I met him in that alley so many years ago.

Maybe my dreams aren't so broken anymore.


End file.
